2) Lifetime service award - Longest friend Johnny "Garthim" Sierra
3) High Point of the year? Sleepover w/ Ian, Sky, and Joe Lang.
4) Low point of the year? 10 or 11th day of shooting my senior project.
5) Best holiday? Arbor Day
6) Anthems for 2006? Pendulous Skin - Mastodon Tetragrammaton - The Mars Volta The Pot - Tool Convalescence - Darkest Hour Cosmia - Joanna Newsom Illumination - Gogol Bordello Kick, Push - Lupe Fiasco Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez
7) Any regrets? Not as much as you would think.
8) Best Night Out? Le Pfaffer's last night out.
9) Worst Night out? Superhouse party: the night before spring break.
10) Who did you spend your valentines with? Friends the later alone, my hand. It was nice.
11) Best relationship? Not a romantic one, but the relationship I have with my roommates is really good.
12) Worst relationship? Maria.
13) Best concert? Joanna Newsom
14) Best New Friend? Well, it was Sky, but she dissapeared, so I don't know.
15) Best Decision All Year? I make so many great decisions it's hard to tell.
16) Best new album that you have got? Ys - Joanna Newsom Blood Mountain - Mastodon is a close second.
17) Most proud moment? Finishing "Saupere Aude" the last track on my prog album.
18) Most reliable people? Jake an Rob
19) Best job of the year? Blow Job from a high school crush.
20) Best Film? The Fountain
21) Worst film? Hard Candy, X-men Sucked tooo
22) Favorite quote of the year? "Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth." - Max Erhmann, "Desiderata"
23) Rate 2006 on a scale of 1-10(best) Considering the adventures, accomplishments and sexual conquests I have in mind for the future, i'll give 2006 a 5, cause I still got some shit to do before I consider my 9 or ten.
24) Plans for '07? New Album, New Script, Comic projects, Chicago, possible lady friends. Everest.
For anyone who may be interested in or about the Live action Transformers movie coming out, here is a really great, well thought out interview with Shia LeBouf who play "Sam" in the movie. This kid is smart, and I really respect the way he carries himself and his acting. I used to watch Even Steven's. Haha. He has some good quotes in here. I don't know how I feel about Michael Bay, I haven't been too much of a fan of his movies, but LeBOuf says some things about him in this interview that really demand respect. So I probably won't ever really know. There's some good insight in the interview about making movies and the scope of this project.
I've always been very critical about the shit that's put in front of me. To a point that is sickening. IT got much worse in film school, it was easier for me to find faults in movies that may have rubbed me the wrong way. But never did I even try to find what may have been good. Or even inspiring. I coulded myself from stuff like this, just to be able to tell a funny joke criticizing th epeople who make what I percieved to be shitty "popcorn Movies". There are those movies and most are pretty bad and hard to watch. But, It wasn't my fault I didn't fuck up the movie. It wasn't a person from my family or someone I knew so why the fuck should i care.
So it's with that that I realize that we can really like and enjoy whatever the fuck we want. I heard so much shit about The Fantastic Four movie and I even decided not to see it cause I was sooo above it. BUt When I saw it, It wasn't THAT bad. Mind you it's stupid and ridiculous. BUt it's for kids. And it was fun. It wasn't fuckin' fellini, but I certainly don't think the filmmakers are out to have been the inspiration of the art scenes of the world. They just wanted to make a movie of a comic they really liked when they were kids. SOmeone gave them money to do it and with that try to in someway recreate that feeling of being a kid and just enjoying themselves in the fantasy and security of superheroes. That's all it is.
So with transformers I just have to say, I wasn't a huge fan of the cartoons growing up. I saw them recently and, you know they are stupid and outlandish, but at the same time it's Giant transforming robots, helping a family on there way through an arduous adventure. saving the world. Beating the bad guys. TRANSFORMING INTO GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS! It's fun, and it's an escape, it's inspiring. In the interview Shia LeBouf talks about a how comics and cartoons are our new religion, our folklore. Nic Cage has said it too. I wholeheartedly agree with that. Noone reads the bible anymore looking into the stories to find the inspiring bits of adventure, the heroism, in any Religious book or doctrine. It's all fanaticism, unbending philosphy, life or death. With Transformers, or any comic, movie TV show, song whatever. It's flexible, it's ideas. Ideas that people can take from what they will. There's such a misunderstood power in that form of communication. People are too busy critizicing everything and hating themselves, creating new problems rather than finding out of all FREE world knowledge, whether it be Transformers, or Jesus, themselves. There really is no reason to be a douchebag critic for no tangible reason. This is something that i'm sure will be debated, it's an odd tirade. But I really don't give a shit about what people may think of what I like and they shouldn't give a shit about what I think of there stuff either. This is what i've learned and it's taken me a while.
I am looking forward to this movie. I'm not looking for a scholarly, artistic veiw on the duality of man. I'm looking for GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS TRANSFORMING! So the next time you go see a movie or read a book or comic, news article or porn mag, keep in mind the perspective it's coming from and don't compare it to Citizen Kane.
ALong with this i'm posting a link to the new Guillermo Del Toro Film, PANS LABYRINTH, which looks really fucking wonderful.
And damnit I didn't even get to drain my sweet fluids for the job lady.
I don't have valid ID. I have a license that expired in march of 04. People don' t ussually like whenn you don' thave proper credentials. And they hit you and call you shit.
So...... I don't think i'm getting that job. I don't know maybe i'll get lucky and have some ID by next week. And by that I mean go get ID and not wish for a new one to appear in my wallet. That only happened once and then I had to learn how to drive.
FUCK!!
I'm a little depressed now. Only a little though.
I watched WASSUP ROCKERS again today. I really love that movie. and not just as a movie. I really relate to it on some level. When I was in high school I skated. Skating wasn't something that was a norm at my school or in my neighborhood. I got made fun of here and there but nothing nearly as bad as the kids in the movie. certainly never got into fights over it. In an area that's predominantly Hispanic and that embraces the Hip Hop culture I stuck out like a sore thumb sometimes with my wearing black most of the time, having Long hair and listening to metal, punk, and prog rock.I had a small group of tight nit friends much like the kids in the movie. It felt like it could go on forever and some day's I was convinced it really would. One day that all changed and it wasn't there anymore. It's new friendships and new experiences. I don' t know. to me it convaid a sort of freedom I won't get to have again. It makes me sad and nostalgic. With the movie I feel like I can relive this feeling in someway. It's like being able to wake up early and watch saturday morning cartoons again. Knowing I don' thave to deal with the world around me to the extent that I do now. Man, I don' t know. I'm sure in twenty years i'll be saying the same thing about being able to post here on "LJ".
I really want to move to Chicago in the winter. It feels right. I was thinking about LA but I think I would hate it after a while. LAst time I was there I didn't like it much. I kind of do now but I don't think enough to live there. maybe after chicago.
I went out to skate today and man I suck. I was pretty good for a while, but since i've not done it for so log I'm real rusty. It was fun though and i'm going to start it up more frequently again. I forgot how much fun it was.
IT was fuckin hot today though. Goddamn I'll be glad to be away from this humidity.
All the days are mashing together. I really need to do something tomorrow. Outside of the house.
anyway......
I've been talking to this girl online and on the phone for almost two years now. I've never met the girl i've seen pictures, but never in person. We've always talked about it but never really got the chance.
She lives four hours away from here, and man if I had a car I would have probably already gone up there.
She's 18 I'm 22. It's weird how we've just kept up for so long. I wonder if i'll ever get to meet her. We've become pretty good friends. We miss eachother and stuff. It's Crazy. How many of you have been in a situation like this?
Do I like her? yes. I don't know. She's one of the most interesting people i know. and she's pretty,really pretty, but I find myself not really seeing her as a girlfriend type, I mean I don't know what she sees me as but we get a long great. and for not even seeing eachother for damn near two years this has already been my most fufilling relationship.
Another thing is, I don't often feel the need to have a girlfriend or to date. I think about it alot but I never get bent out of shape about it, or get lonely. All the girls I meet who i like eventually just become friends and i'm okay with that. I don't care. Once I felt like I was in love and then I wasn't all of a sudden. Since then I've not had any strong feeling for a girl one way or another. During that time I would do anything for her and it meant the world, but now I've not met anyone who even sparks those feelings in me. Am I cold and dead inside? Or am I just not to be bothered with it.
With this girl i've been talking to it feels real, what ever it is that we have and I wonder if that's because we are so far away and using such impersonal means of communication, that we can say and do things that we don' t nessecarily have to face. Earlier I was playing guitar for her over the phone. Are you serious? How cheesy is that? But it felt alright to just be open. that's how it is with us, it's just open. Who cares, whatever. Just be this moment, this time, right now, with me. Is that love? A crush? A booming Friendship? Fantasy?
I don't know what it is.
The Idea of love I was raised on was a complete illusion. and I don' t believe in the one and only, meant to be. But i do believe in love at first sight. It doesn't make sense.
hmm... well i'll find out someday I guess.
STEPHEN RELATIONSHIP TRIVIA/EVIDENCE:
Stephen and _________ refer to eachother by screen name rather than BY real first names. Him:Tendril or Tendrillar and Her: Measly, Treesly, or Squeezly. (That's Fuckin GAY)
Stephen and ________ first met over iCHat through a friends one time only chat room session almost two years ago.
MySpace is the only place Stephen and ________ can see what eachother look like. "Are those Pictures real?"
haha Anyhow........
Regardless of all that mess.
I watched KEN PARK a little while ago. BOOTLEG NIGGA!
And boy oh boy. This was some flick. It's directed by the same guy who directed WASSUP.
It's more like KIDS than anything else, but with a lot more teenage sex. It's pretty much just a whole lot of violent tragic perversion. And alarmingly moving. I would reccomend people downloading it and watching it. You can't get it anywhere on DVD because of some leagal issue with some of the music. Maybe at a Comic convention. I think I saw it at MEGACON when I went.Some parts I could hardly take and i've seen shit eating videos, more than twice so be warned. It's fucked up. The part of the world you see and wish wasn't there. That's pretty much LArry Clarks M.O.
MY GOD IT's 3am. Can't believe it. Feels like i just woke up.
Oh and sorry for another long entry. Wait, no i'm not. You don't have to read it. You hear that Steve! and yes i'm well aware.
Leave me some reccomendations for movies in my comments please!
Interestingly enough, I don't post very much to this journal. Mostly it's because I don't know how many people read it and the subject matter and it's lenght are directly proportionate to the audience(if any)that is there.
Tonight I'm going to talk about a few things on my mind that some of you may or may not find interesting. I encourage the act of commenting in order to start a debate, argument or rhyming contest.
The first topic on my list is:
WHITE PEOPLE. What is up with that? I know it was this booming craze in the mid to even middler-mid 80's but really do we really need a revival? I just honestly don't get this movement and sudden internet craze that's sprung seemingly overnight. Now, don't get me wrong I don't hate white people, or even dislike them as a whole. But I'm at a loss for explanation as to why they are percieved and accepted as a popular cultural Icon. This is almost as bad as the the BLACK people craze of the 90's. What's next an all out barrage of latin american art and cultural history?
Egh......
I don't know what i'm typing about. That was stupid.
So any way.
I had a job interview today. Went pretty well. The lady did in all honesty ask for my pee though. I simply replied "not right now", she was ok with that. I won't tell you where it was that I was applying because that's simply none of your business. I actually didn't go out today to look for a job. But when I got back it sure seemed that way. I have a way of making people believe that i'm doing very productive activities and then having them see right through it. ANyhow, I desperately need a job and I don't want to look anymore so I hope I get this job.
I thought of how ironic it would be if I'd failed the drug test because about a moth ago I got high. It's not something I do regularily or even at all for that matter. But it was a friends going away party so I did it anyway. "Fuck it" right. Well, I was kind of freaked out and I was even for a split second gonna ask my roommate to "GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR GODDAMED PEE YOU RAT BASTARD MOTHER FUCKER OR I"LL KILL YOU, MY LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS!" But luckly(for me probably) it didn't resort to this. I found out that because i'm not a habitual WEED abuser that the WEED should have already passed through my body. Had I been a WEED guy I would be in some trouble, well i wouldn't have a chance getting the job. Oh that darn WEED, always fucking someone up. little rascal.
Prior to looking for a job I was frantically thinking of ways I could make money without having to get a job, but the idea of mushing live black baby's for a much richer printer paper ink didn't sit well with me.
And it's racist!
Damn craig's list. you find the weirdest shit on there I swear.
Also, i've been talking about and heavily thinking about a few comic projects that I will most like just ponder rather than getting done. But the ideas are there and the art skill is......on it's way. God damn God for making me so lazy at the same time so fucking brilliant. It's a curse.
Oh you're offended by my use of the God dude's name. Sorry.........no, really it's cool you can chill. I know the guy. That fuckin' guy all the power of existance and he can't even lend a nigga a dollar. Or maybe it's like that part of A bronx tale where Cologero is telling Chazz about that kid who owes him twenty bucks and Chazz is all, "Man, don't worry about it. Would you rather him not ever having the money when you hassle him or have it that............." Well never mind I don't think i've even seen that movie.
What's next on the agenda?
Oh yeah, I got my girlfriend pregnant.
Yeah, tell me about it. I didn't even know I had girlfriend. I'm going to name the kid Cocaine, so I can call my dad and say" hey Dad, I've got cocaine here next to me, you should stop by." If only to get my father back.
Man I haven't had sex in a while. BUmmer. I did however have pancakes for dinner so, you know at least I came.
OH!!!!
gross Right? Innapropriate? Out of line?
Ah,go fuck yourself. you suck. This isn't a PG-13 show. I already used my "fucks" you should have seen that coming. Don't you watch movies? Stupid.
Speaking of:
Last night I watched WASSUP ROCKERS!
It's Larry Clark's(Guy who made KIDS and BULLY) newest movie. I had been waiting to watch this for a long time. And I finally got to see it.
Here is my 8 page review:
I watched it again today. And you know I'll probably watch it again tomorrow. And I for sure am going to watch it when I buy the DVD.
I'd say that's a good posotive review.
HEre are a few other short reviews of movies I've seen lately:
BRICK
Although I appreciate the somewhat unique idea and the execution, acting, music, story and all that. For some reason this pill was just too hard for me to swallow. I can suspend my disbelief only so much. Teenager's aren't and not even in a fictional world will I ever think they could be that smart, that organized, that diabolical, allwhile trying to study for the SAT's and make time for yearbook. They just smoke pot and fuck eachother.
INSIDE MAN
I saw this twice and I like it very much. I like Denzel again. And although SPike LEe is a DICK, I will always love his movies.
ATL
FUn but stupid, and derivative. Got me listening to T.I. Though and that I appreciate. Really this movie is for high school kids to make out to, and if that purpose is fully realized I don't think this will have been for nothing. Who the fuck doesn't like to make out?
WAITING
This movie is pure garbage, and i've been trying to not be so critical and snobby about things but wholly goddamnfuckshitbitch, this movie is stupid. It's less like a funny comedy about the daily grind and more like a small, starved, AIDS infected african child who died just mere inches away from the vaccine that would have cured him. So if you have to see this movie, you know, dont.
THE DESCENT
More like THE BORING ASS BORING MONSTER MOVIE WITH REALLY DUMB HOT BITCHES. I'm sorry this movie is just silly. And no not silly like gay sex. Silly like Prison gay sex. Which is not silly it's SERIOUS and painful! Watch DOG SOLDIERS instead, some how with a smaller budget this guy is a good director.
I think that's it for now, I know i've seen other's but my mind isn't with me at the moment.
IN OTHER NEWS:
I got a hold of EMINEM's First album. It was an independent LP calle "Infinite". I've been listening to it and it's funny cause it's so different than anything the public has heard of Eminem. It's positive and good, it's some of the best straight hip hop i've heard. The only problem I think that I may have with it is that because it's not all shock and slick beats that it does get boring after a bit, but the title track i've been listening to a lot. So if you ever get your hands on it and know something about good, real hip hop. you should check it out.
And don't you dare for a fucking second map out my entire knowledge of hip hop based on me referencing only T.I. and Eminem. You smarmy bastards, I will School you and then I will fuck you!
But everything is ok.
Yeah i've been feeling the RAP music lately, to the point that i'm actually freestyling(This means expressing an idea in an improvised rhyme. WHitey.(sorry, I don't mean to make this a racial issue, i'm just retarded.(i'm not actually mentaly or physically handicapped. I merely used this as an expression for my tendancy to act out in a childlike manner.(I mean no disrespect to the CHILDREN community of the world. I realize your contribution to society and you guys are doing a real fine job)))) Yeah little old me, Rappin' I feel like i'm getting better, i've been doing it a lot and.....you know what enough about that. I really like the southern stuff right now. it's strange and mysterious to me. I feed on it.
The new ROOTS album is really good. I like it.
Paul Wall has a great Verse in the song "Drive Slow (remix)" T.I. is also in that song.
Here's Paul Wall's verse for your reading pleasure: "What it do? I'm posted up in the parking lot my trunk wavin'the candy gloss(refering to the paint on his car)is immaculate it's simply amazin'/Them elbows whide pokin'wide on the "CandiLAC"Trunk open,screens on, neons on that fif'(?) fo relaxin'/I'm on a mission for dime peices and sexy ladies/ allow me to introduce you to my CL Mercedes/It's a star studded event when I valet park/Open up my mouth and sunlight illuminates the dark(refering to his "GRILLZ"(teeth Jewlry)/You see them Fo's(four wheels) crawlin'/you see them screens fallin'/the disoc ball in my mouth(Teeth jewlery)insinuates i'm ballin'/i'm leanin' on the switch sittin' crookid' in my slab(car) but I could still catch bopper's(bitches) if I drove a cab/A young Houston HArd hitta all about the scrilla(money)/ridin' some Candy-coated(refering to the paint on his car) crawlin' like a caterpillar/i'm tippin on them Fo's(four wheels)i'm gellin'(?) on the screw(?)I'm lookin' for them hoes baby WHAT IT DO?"
He brought it all back around! hahaha I love it. damn. In all this southern stuff though I do get tired of hearing about CandiLAC's and Candy car's and all that shit. BUt I think maybe it's because I don't have one. these dude kill for these things. i don't know if I could handle that and I don't have a license.
Holy shit, i'm getting tired.
I hope this little entry has brought you closer to me. Because it has sure brought me closer to you.
Can i borrow some money?
I'll let you think about that.
RECCOMENDATIONS:
www.zefrank.com/theshow - funny,smart, condesending(?), and true.
WASSUP ROCKERS! - download that shit.
INVINCIBLE - no not marky mark. This happens to be the best superhero comic in the universe. Marvel can eat my shit(yes, boys shit). Take that Joe.
A PRINCESS OF MARS by E. Burroughs - What that's not enough for you. Oh, god. ok. There's titties in it. Geez.
www.lettherebeporn.com - Oh come on now it's just nudity. I'd certainly rather you look at this than violence. Damn, get over yourself. can't jerk off to the news. Well, I can't.
KING by T.I. - If you live in the south and aren't from the south it's like listening to spanish. If you aren't spanish. Anyway, this nigga got some knowledge. What? Oh come on it's just a word. ANd it's not even the whole word. WHITEY DON"T SAY IT!
AMPUTECTURE by MArs Volta - Duh.
METALOCALYPSE - Metal + comedy + good flash + demon conjuring = better than humanity. Well, that's not saying much so I'll just say I like it a lot.
Venture Bros. - hahahah Who knew? And why didn't you tell me damnit!
Pancakes for dinner - You goddamned right.
Drunk Old men - these guys are great! Just don't let them touch you.
BOrrwing money you know you'll never pay back - it's a good deal.
Things I RECcOMEND you don't be apart of:
Wear your last pair of clean underwear and be too lazy to go do laundry - sorry. me. :[
Spend your last bit of money on Comics - whoops. How'd that happen. HAha how will I eat? shit, i'm crazy!
WMA music files - who the fuck would post that in a torrent?! I cant' use those.
THE DESCENT - See Above
WAITING - see above
BRICK - Eh, wasn't all bad. But since it was a little bad it finds it's home here.
Bootleg FiNAL CUT 4 - Damn you, you stupid whore of a stolen program! GIVE ME MY MOVIE!!
Unprotected sex - BE safe kids. DOn't be idiots and make more idiots. If you're interesting though go ahead, Knock yourself out. We need more Cool people. NO FUCKING HIPPIES THOUGH!!
HIppies - Oh yeah lets solve all the worlds problems by sitting around.
Rebublicans - The worlds problems would go away if you just sat it out for a few.
Democrats - You're just as bad.
Liberals - Hippies with suits!
Politics - really it's so ridiculous. I'd say you're not missing much. but the problem is is you're missing too much and trusting too much. Double edge sword I suppose.
Reading this "BLOG" entry - really do you not have anything better to do. There's a whole world out there. It's one thing for me to write this but come on, this shit was long and I literally said nothing.
I leave you with these words of wisdom.
"Wonder why nigga's talk 8 balls* all day? Try standing around with 8 Balls all day."
Think about it.
*sizeble amount of CRACK
Good Night My audience of maybe two.
Aug. 30th, 2006 @ 02:27 am
Progressive Rock: Highest Influence Heavy Metal: High Influence 80's Pop: Medium Influence Alternative Rock: Medium Influence Classic Rock: Medium Influence
....it's pretty fucking insane. it has a few guest appearances. One of which is Cedric from The MArs Volta. Amazing!
The Album is yet another concept album about: "It's about climbing up a mountain and the different things that can happen to you when you're stranded on a mountain, in the woods, and you're lost. You're starving, hallucinating, running into strange creatures. You're being hunted. It's about that whole struggle." ( got that from Wiki)
Coincidentally I am writing a children's adventure story about this very subject.
I'm going to steal that concept album bit from Andrew for a moment.
My concept album:
Band: Tantor
Album: King Of the Sun
Concept: A very near future, post-apocalyptic society where a huge land mass has been blocked off from the rest of the planet under quarantine. The main character is named Rex and is a seemingly normal 30 something who through out the story reverts from his modern man to his animal needs and instincts. few are left alive and those who are battle for small pieces of land and whatever food they can find. Cannibalism is a daily means of survival. Law and order are only what battles you won and walked away from. where one is judge jury and executioner. Rex finds a woman, and at fisrt glance knows he needs her. He finds her she resists, he rapes her, she attempts to kill him, he subdues her and feeds her meat from battles. They become one. In time they have a child and find a a home within their destroyed metropolis. Later a band of cannibalistic hunters finds them and and beats and batters Rex's woman, they break his body and leave him for dead. Weeks later Rex manages to walk again and seeks out those who destroyed his family. Rex delivers swift, stratigic, justice to those who now become his prey. He hunts them and kills them them feeds them to his family. As he claims his kingdom.
Hit single: Tasting the Rape of God.
Genre: Progressive/Metalcore.
Now that's fuckin Metal.
Speaking of metal I just watched "Deathclok: Metalocalypse" on the adult swim website. and it was pretty hilarious, the music is so fuckin funny.
anyway.
uh....
I'm going to new Hampshire this week so kiss my ass.
Aug. 11th, 2006 @ 02:46 am
Ian, Marcos, Sky and myself went to the movies to see Nacho Libre.
I enjoyed it very much. It appears that flik didn't like it as much. That i understand. It's not like Napoleon and it's moderatly funny. I did really like it though. It was either Jack Black or Mexican wrestling, maybe a combination of the two. Maybe the people I was with.
After that we all went to eat at the Golden Corral. For some reason my card was declined, which is weird cause it's a debit card and i'm sure I have money.
The corral was nice, but the only problem i have with buffets is that i'm don't eat that much and I stop when I get full so I ussually only get one or two plates.
I'm feeling the food kick in right now and it's not great. But i'm doing alright.
I'm doing great actually. I'm really pretty damn happy right now. It's nice. I'm ussually a gow witht the flow type of guy which doesn't always permit time for happiness. But I thought about where I am in life and how i'm doing and it feels great that I have a percentage of independence now that I had not had. And i'm really enjoying the time I have to swim around in it.
We also went swimming before GC, that was really fun. I was glad to jump in the water fresh and clean with my new doo.
I have never shaved my head before and it feels so great. I got complimented on it when I went out to a party tonight. And as mucha s I appreciate the comments, I really didn't care what they thought cause I was so happy witht the way I am feeling.
It's goofy I won't lie and it's different. but come on Long hair for three years. It was time for a break. a sort of cleansing ritual to help along my leaving college(still have one class to take).
It's nice not to have to worry about my hair. Cause in all honesty i did, a lot. Everyone knows this. Now I can comfortable go out and do anything an be anywhere without worrying about greasy frizzy mop making me self concious.
I do plan to grow my hair out long again, cause that's just me. but this is and adventure. one of many i hope to have these next few years of my life.
I love SCRUBS, the show. So good. (Sorry Flik I haven't gotten around to reading your script.) Been wastchin the seasons nonstop. Thanks Rob.
I have to get a job real soon and fix my bike so Ican go cruisin. I don't want a job and wish that some how I could make money by sleeping. That's life i guess.
Growing up sucks. But here we are.
Jun. 17th, 2006 @ 03:13 am
For years now someone has been calling me from a private number. They hang on the line for a few moments and I can hear them breathing. whenever I asy anything or make the slightest movement they hang up. Once I answered and didn't make a sound or move and we both hung on the line for a good two minutes. hearing that breathing on the other line was one of the most frighteningly eerie things i've ever heard. It wasn't heavy psycho breathing, just consistent shallow breaths. It's always in huge gaps of times that it will happen. Just some random strange nights.
This is one of those very nights.
WHo could this be?
I wonder if it was someone who I have wronged. Some one whose trying to get me. I also wonder for how long will this go on for.
I remember the first calls came about when I was in middle school. I never really thought anything of it. I thought maybe because I lived in the city there were a lot of wrong numbers. Then I thought maybe it was someone playing a joke on somebody else in my family. But I was always the one to pick up and my family never had these experiences.
Hopefully it means something and isn't just random. seems too good to be random.
well if I disappear than it's probably cause this person got me. And if you find me dead, don't look at my penis.
May. 16th, 2006 @ 02:32 am
Eye on the the TV 'Cause tragedy thrills me Whatever flavor it happens to be, like... "Killed by the husband" "Drowned by the ocean" "Shot by his own son" "She used a poison in his tea...kissed him goodbye" That's my kind of story It's no fun 'til someone dies Don't look at me like I am a monster Frown out your one face But with the other Stare like a junkie Into the TV Stare like a zombie While the mother holds her child Watches them die Hands to the sky crying, "Why, oh why?" Cause I need to watch things die... from a distance Vicariously I live while the whole world dies YOU ALL NEED IT TOO, DON'T LIE Why can't we just admit it? Why can't we just admit it? We won't give pause until the blood is flowing Neither the brave nor bold Will write as the story's told We won't give pause until the blood is flowing I need to watch things die... from a good safe distance Vicariously I live while the whole world dies You all feel the same, so... Why can't we just admit it? Blood like rain come down Drown my grave and ground Part vampire Part warrior Carnivore and Voyeur Stare at the transmittal Sing to the death rattle La, la, la, la, la, la-la-lie (x4) Credulous at best Your desire to believe in Angels in the hearts of men Pull your head on out, your head please , and give a listen Shouldn't have to say it all again The universe is hostile, so impersonal Devour to survive... so it is, so it's always been We all feed on tragedy It's like blood to a vampire Vicariously I live while the whole world dies Much better you than I Hear from the king's mountain view Here from the wild dream come true Feast like a sultan I do On treasures and flesh, never few. But I, I would wish it all away If I thought I'd Lose you just one day The devil and his had me down In love with the dark side I'd found. Dabblin' all the way down Up to my neck soon to drown. But you changed that all for me Lifted me up, turned me round So I I I I I would I would I would Wish this all away Prayed like a martyr dusk til dawn Begged like a hooker all night long Tempted the devil with my song And got what I wanted all along But I And I would If I could And I would Wish it away Wish it away Wish it all away Wanna wish it all away No cross you could hold Sway or justify my giving away my center So if I could I'd wish it all away If I thought tomorrow would take you away You're my peace of mind, my home, my center I'm just trying to hold on One more day Dim my eyes Dim my eyes Dim my eyes if they should Compromise our fulcrum Want and need divide me Then I might as well be gone Shine on forever Shine on benevolent Son Shine down upon the broken Shine until the two become one Shine on forever Shine on benevolent Son Shine down upon the severed Shine until the two become one Divided I'm withering away Divided I'm withering away Shine on upon the many Light our way Benevolent Son Breathe in union Breathe in union Breathe in union Breathe in union Breathe in union So as one survive Another day and season Silence leech, and save your poison. Silence leech, and stay out of my way. You believed You believed it what once GOD could see You believed in me A passionate spirit Uncompromise Found us un-open A light in your eye In my ????? eye Broken, broken Fell at the hands of those who once Said I'd lost you it was you who Prayed for me so What have I done to be a son to an angel What have I done to be worthy Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescence Difficult to see you in this light Please forgive this selfish question, but What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight She never told a lie Well might of told a lie But never lived one Didn’t have a life Didn’t have a life But surely saved one See? I'm alright, now it’s time for us to let you go Listen to the tales and romanticize, How we follow the path of the hero Boast about the day when the rivers overrun, How we rise to the height of our halo. Listen to the tales as we all rationalize Our way into the arms of the savior Fading all the trials and the tribulations, None of us have actually been there, Not like you... Ignorant flippants in the congregation Gather around spewing sympathy, Spare me... None of them can even hold a candle up to you Blinded by choices, hypocrites won't see But enough about the collective Judas Who could deny you were the one who illuminated your little piece of the divine This little light of mine it gives your past unto me, I'm gonna let it shine, to guide you safely on your way Your way home... Ohh, what are they gonna do when the lights go down without you to guide them all to Zion? What are they gonna do when the rivers overrun other than tremble incessantly? High is the way but our eyes are upon the ground. You are the light and the way They'll only read about I only pray heaven knows When to lift you out 10000 days in the fire is long enough. You're going home... You're the only one who can hold your head up high, Shake your fist at the gates saying, "I have come home now!" Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father, Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended. "It's time now! My time now! Give me my Give me my wings!"... Give me my (x5) "Give me my own wings" You are the light, the way, that they will only read about Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance Burden of proof tossed upon non-believers. You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence, Judith Marie, unconditional one. Daylight dims leaving cool fluorescence. Difficult to see you in this light. Please forgive this bold suggestion: Should you see your maker's face tonight Look him in the eye Look him in the eye and tell him I never lived a lie, never took a life, But surely saved one Hallelujah, It's time for you to bring me home. Who are you to wave your finger? You must have been out your head Eye hole deep in muddy waters You practically raised the dead Rob the grave to snow the cradle Then burn the evidence down Soapbox house of cards and glass so Don't go tossin' your stones around You must have been high You must have been high You must have been Foot in mouth and head up ass So what you talkin' 'bout? Difficult to dance 'round this one 'til you pull it out, boy You must have been so high You must have been so high Steal, borrow, reap or save your shady inference Kangaroo done hung the juror with the innocent Now you're weeping shades of chosen indigo got lemon juice up in your eye When you pissed all over my back kiddo (black kettle) You must have been high, high You must have been high, high Who are you to wave your finger? So full of it Eyeballs deep in muddy waters Fuckin' hypocrite Liar, lawyer -- mirror show me What's the difference? Kangaroo done hung the guilty with the innocent NOW you're weeping shades of chosen indigo got lemon juice up in your high EYE When you pissed all over my back kiddo(black kettle) You musta been So who are you to wave your finger? Who are you to wave your fatty fingers at me? You must have been out your mind Weeping shades of indigo shed without a reason weeeping shades of indigo Liar, lawyer, mirror For you what's the difference Kangaroo be stoned He's guilty as the government NOW you weeping shades of chosen indigo get lemon juice up in your eye Now when you pissed all over my back kiddo(black kettle) You musta been high, high, high, high Eyeballs deep in (bloody?) waters **Elbows**(your balls) deep in muddy waters Ganja (please/police)!!! You must have been out your mind (Chanting) Nurse: Excuse me? Doctor? Do you have a moment? Doctor: A moment? What's the question? Nurse: More of a situation, a gentleman in exam 3 Doctor: What's the problem? Nurse: That is the problem, we're not sure. Doctor: You got the chart? Nurse: Right here. Doctor: Not much here is there Nurse: No doctor, no obvious physical trauma. Vitals are stable. Doctor: Name? Nurse: No sir. Doctor: Did someone drop him off? Maybe we could speak to them. Let's get some background on this fella. Nurse: No ID. Nothing (heavy breathing in background) And he won't speak to anybody. Doctor: Well, let's say hello. Good Morning, I'm Dr. Lawson. How are you today? How - are - you today?! Look son, you're in a safe place. We wanna help in whatever way we can. But you need to talk to us. We can't help you otherwise. What's happened? Tell me everything. (Growling and heavy breathing grows louder) Alrighty then Picture this if you will 10 to 2 AM And actually eating up an old box of Krispy Kremes And my need-to-know potion. I was just outside Area 51 Contemplating the whole chosen people thing When a flaming stealth banana split the sky like, wide open. I never expected to see it in a place like this. I do believe I spilled a diamond sundae Or something wet on my Birkenstocks And [you're yelping] Holy fucking shit Then the x-file beings who were like some kind of blue-grey [Jackie Chan] With Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked [They're wicked-shot terrorists all by making the sound] abananadabanana so when I opened up my bug eyes, my gaping jaw and my sweaty lower and upper lip And all I could think was I hope that my partner here doesn't notice that I pissed my fucking pants So alive in this way Like an apparition You have me crying out Fuck me It's got to be Dead head Chemistry The blotter got On top of me Got me seeing E mother-fucking T And after calming me down with some orange slices And some fetal spooning The ET revealed to me his singular purpose He said you are the chosen one The one who'll deliver the message A message of hope for those who chose to hear it And a warning for those who do not Me, the chosen one, they chose me And I didn't graduate from fucking high school You had better... You had better... You had better... You had better listen When he looked right through me With somniferous almond eyes Don't even know what that means Must remember to write it down This is surreal Like the time they floated away See, my heart is pounding Cause this shit never happens to me I can't breathe right now It was so real Like I woke up in Wonderland All sort of terrifying I don't want to be all alone When I tell the story And can anyone tell me why It was a repeat experience will I ever be coming down This is so real Finally it's my lucky day See my heart is racing Cause this shit never happens to me I can't breathe right now You believe me don't you Please believe what I just said See they're telling the truth And this wasn't all in my head See they took me by the hand And invited me right in Then they showed me something I don't even know where to begin Strapped down to my bed Feet cold, eyes red I'm out my head Am I alive am I dead Can't remember what they said God damn shit the bed hey hey Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position Such a heavy burden now to be the one Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending To write it down for all the world to see But I forgot my pen shit the bed again Typical Strapped down to my bed Feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive am I dead Sunkist and Sudafed Gyroscopes and infrared won't help the brain dead Can't remember what they said God damn shit the bed I Can't remember what they said to me Can't remember what they said to make me out to be A HERO I can't remember what they said to me Can't remember what they said Don't know, oh no (repeated 12 times) God damn shit the bed Work hard, Stay in school, Listen to your mother, your father is right/rising/right, son... Jesus loves you... Work hard, Stay in school, Listen to your mother, your father is right/rising/right son... Pure as we begin. Pure as we come in. Pure as we begin. Ruled by will alone. Pure as we begin. Here we have a stone. Gather, place, erase so. (*) Shelter turns to home. Pure as we begin. Here we have a stone. Throw to stay the stranger. (*) Swore to crush his bones. (*) Ruled by will alone. Spark becomes a flame. Flame becomes a fire. Light the way or warm this. Home we occupy. Spark becomes a flame. Flame becomes a fire. Forge a blade to slay the stranger. Take whatever we desire. Moved by will alone. Pure as we begin. Pure as we begin Move by will alone. Leave as we come in. Pure as light. Return to one. Move by will alone. Move by will alone. Angels on the sideline, Puzzled and amused. Why did Father give these humans free will? Now they’re all confused. Don’t these talking monkeys know that Eden has enough to go around? Plenty in this holy garden, silly old monkeys, Where there’s one, you're bound to divide it, Right in two. Angels on the sideline, Baffled and confused. Father blessed them all with reason. And this is what they choose. Monkey, killing monkey, killing monkey. Over pieces of the ground. Silly monkeys give them thumbs, They forge a blade, And where there's one they're bound to divide it, Right in two. Right in two. Monkey, killing monkey, killing monkey. Over pieces of the ground. Silly monkeys give them thumbs, They make a club. And beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would, Squander the ability to LIVE TO DIE TO HAVE A CONSCIENCE BROTHERS SLEEP INSIDE HERE Cut it all right in two. Cut it all right in two. Cut it all right in two. Cut it all right in two. Fight, over the clouds, over the earth, over sky. Fight, over life, over blood, over air and light. Over love, over sun, over another. Fight, all the time. Over what? Over Lies and... Angels on the sideline again. Been so long with patience and reason. Angels on the sideline again. Wondering when this tug of war will end. Cut it all right in two. Cut it all right in two. Cut it all right in two. Right in two. Right in two. una Infinitas Abominatio Nascitur Autumno hic est tuum temptamen quod temptat tua potentia viginti tres gradus ad summam potestatem translated : one infinity the horror begins in autumn this is your trial, now prove your (power, might, ability; efficacy, potency) Twenty three steps to total power.
May. 15th, 2006 @ 02:22 am
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